forgiveness – Emmanuel Onimisi

Pablo

A story about one dog’s journey home.

Three young dogs were milling about at the rubbish dump one morning, but it was the dump that was the main attraction to the Labrador that was watching from afar.

They called him Bones, and he was the toughest canine in the neighborhood. Whenever there was a fight for territory, once he came on the scene, the fight was over. His howl was the loudest at night, and other dogs could only hope to match his domineering influence. He especially loved rubbing it in their faces. And so, with a smirk on his face, he hurried over to the three and climbed up the dump.

“Now, now,” he said whimsically, “Argue all you want, dawgs, but you know who the real king of this hill is.”

Garr, a cross between an Alsatian and a Terrier, stared up at him. “Hiya, Bones,” he said dryly.

“Now, y’all be nice to me,” Bones continued. “And I’d even let you grab a bite or two from this here dump. I can imagine it must be tantalizing to your eyes right about now, eh?” He licked his lips, but they did not seem amused in the slightest.

“Um… thanks Bones,” Ruff the pug said. “But if Nada here is right, we might not need to come to this dump ever again.”

Bones was taken aback. “Huh?”

Nada was a Doberman, and she was the youngest of the pack. She nodded with glee. “Yeah! There’s this human you’ve gotta meet. He’s really nice and I think he likes me.”

Bones arched a brow. “You’ve got a human? But … but we’re strays. It’s who we are.”

“Yeah, I know,” Nada said, her tail wagging faster as she spoke. “But this guy treats me like I’m a … friend. Anytime he sees me, he pats me on the head and pets me.”

“I’ve never been petted before,” Garr said with a pout.

“Me neither,” Ruff added.

“And he sets out food for me too,” Nada said. “Like I’m his ‘person’. One day he even gave me a bath!”

“A what?!”

“No way! What’s that like?”

Bones watched in disbelief as Nada shared more stories about this human that had caught her fancy. It sounded too good to be true, and Bones knew that human-attachment was a road to heartbreak.

“I’m suspicious,” he said as he approached them. “He your former owner or something?”

“Nope,” Nada said. “I was born on the streets, Bones. I’ve never had an owner before.”

“What do you think, Bones?” Ruff asked.

“I think this is a load of hogwash,” Bones said. “We can never trust the humans. They think we’re pests.”

“This guy doesn’t,” Nada said.

“So what you gonna do?” Bones said, staring her down as he stood in her face. “Take us all over to your human friend so we can be begging for scraps?”

But Nada was not intimidated. “He gives me more than scraps. I think he’s—“

“I mean, look around, dawgs,” he said. “See the assortment of grub we’ve got in this dump. Food from yesterday, some from last week, some from last month – a variety of all kinds just waiting for you to take. And the search, oh, searching through the other garbage and stuff is the real adventure. Getting to taste and spit out the stuff that don’t taste good to your liking, and trying out new stuff. What could be better than that?”

“But it’s not good for you,” Nada said. “Some of it is spoilt. Some of it can kill you.”

“Why?” Bones snapped. “Cause your human’s gon’ give you something better?”

“Actually, yes. And I think he can give us all something better.”

“What if he stops? What if one day he don’t like you no more?”

Bones felt more and more humiliated as Nada extolled the virtues of her friend.

“What’s your damage, Bones?” Garr asked. “Why are you so against this human?”

Bones shook his head. “Trusting humans is dangerous,” he said. “You don’t want to go that route. Once you’re emotionally-invested…” As he spoke, he realized his eyes were getting misted as memories flooded his mind. “No. It’s a can of worms. Just trust me on this. You can’t trust them two-leggers.”

Ruff placed a paw on the ground. “Well I wanna see what Nada be talking about.”

“Me too,” Garr intoned.

“Then come along with me!” Nada said. “He usually has food ready around this time.”

“You’ll come back here!” Bones called after them as they hurried away. “You’ll all come back here. Just you wait and see. Y’all gon’ be back here, with your tails between your legs, begging me to let you come to this dump! You can count on it!”

But as they ran off, their tails wagging in hope, Bones felt defeated. He had had his own experience with a human, and he had seen the slippery slope of trusting a human being. But after the conversation they had just had, the dump was no longer appealing to him. Curiosity got the better of Bones, and he hurried after them, if only to watch from afar.

Nada, Garr and Ruff crossed into the backyard of a quaint house on the edge of the street. Bones hid behind a tree and watched as Nada called.

“Hey!!!” she called. “It’s me, your friend, Nada!”

Bones had to stifle a chuckle. Nada probably forgot that the human would only hear her barking, and not actually hear her words.

But sure enough, a human opened the door. Bones had not seen that coming.

“Ah, Nada!” he came down to his haunches, petting her, her tail wagging like it had a sense of its own. “You came back!” He looked at the other dogs, who were already stepping backwards already. “And you brought friends too!”

He beckoned to them and they sauntered cautiously as he pet them on the head. Sure enough, those tails began to wag like Nada’s. Bones felt sick of it.

The Human held a hand up. “Wait for me, alright. I’ve got food ready.” He hurried into the house and returned with a bag of treats which he poured into bowls for them. “You must be hungry. I’ve got enough to go around.”

Bones had not tasted doggie treats in a very long time. The sight turned his stomach and tugged on his heart. But it was at that moment that he realized that this scene was all too familiar. It dawned on him even more when the human looked his way.

The Human’s eyes widened as he took in Bones from afar. There was a scar on across his left eye.

Oh no… It can’t be.

Bones’ mouth felt dry as he realized that he had known this Human, and the Human knew him. Shame and regret clouded his heart as he took a step back.

Nada looked up and noticed the Human staring, only to turn and see—

“Bones?!” she said.

Bones gasped. I’m not supposed to be here!

He scampered off, blinking away the tears from his eyes. He only stopped to catch a breath behind a wall. Nada’s Human was the same Human he had known all those years ago. He couldn’t believe it. The memory brought nothing but pain.

“Bones?” He turned to see Nada peeking from behind the wall. She came over to him. “Are you okay?”

He wiped a paw across his eyes. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Were you crying?”

“Me, cry?” he chuckled. “Don’t be silly. Go on, back to your friends.”

But Nada would not be so easily shrugged off. “You knew him, didn’t you?”

Bones shrugged. “Maybe. I-it doesn’t matter. Just forget about it.”

“Bones, it’s okay. I won’t think of you less.” She sat beside him. “You were once his pet, weren’t you?”

He wanted to deny it once more, but he just couldn’t. He nodded silently.

“What happened?”

There was no pretending with Nada. “You see those scars on his left eye? That…” He lowered his head. “That was me.”

“What?”

He took a deep breath. “It was a different life, a very long time ago. I was his friend too. We played and went everywhere together. He used to call me Pablo, if you can believe it.”

She chuckled. “Pablo,” she whispered, trying it out.

“But one day I saw this dump. I saw all this grub with many scents that I’d never tried before and I knew I just had to get a taste. But he didn’t let me. He kept pulling me away, saying, ‘No, no, don’t go there!’ Until one day I snapped at him and…”

He shut his eyes as he wiped his paw in the air, re-enacting the moment he struck his Human’s face.

“I was stunned, seeing him bleeding that day. He was shocked too, crying on the ground. I didn’t know what to do. I had broken our bond and his trust. I’d drawn his blood. I couldn’t go back again. I had to run away and make a life of my own, far away from him.”

They sat in silence for a moment, staring into the horizon.

“And you’ve been a stray ever since,” she said.

He nodded.

“It wasn’t him that messed up,” Bones said. “It was me. There’s no way he can forgive me for that. He’s Human. They don’t forget stuff. I can never forget that day, myself. It’s why I can’t allow myself to trust a Human again, because I could break that trust one day.”

Nada stared up at him in stunned silence. She didn’t know what to say to that, too.

But in that moment, the Human came from behind the wall. “Pablo?” he called.

Bones gristled, becoming defensive in that moment. He took a step backwards.

“Hey,” the Human said, stretching a hand towards him. “It’s me. Your friend.”

Bones bared his fangs, growling in warning. “Stay away from me,” he said. “I may bite you again!” Of course he knew the Human wouldn’t hear his words, but the growl would pass it across.

“Bones, what’re you doing?” Nada asked.

“Stay out of this,” Bones snarled.

The Human was undeterred. “All these years I’ve been looking for you,” he said. “Thank God you’re still alive. My, what has happened to you, Pablo?”

“Stay back!” Bones warned, barking. “I’m warning you.”

But the Human still approached him cautiously. “I’ve wanted to protect you from the dangers around,” he said. “I want you to be my friend again, Pablo. I want to feed you to good health and take care of you. I don’t want you to be harmed ever again.”

“I’m doing fine all by myself!” Bones snapped. “I don’t need you!”

But the Human would not get the message. He still came closer, reaching out with his arms. “It’s okay, Pablo. I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay.”

Bones kept trying to retreat, growling, but as the Human’s hand touched his head something changed. Sensations he had not felt in a very long time coursed through his body. His resistance withered away as healing flooded his heart.

The Human embraced Bones, and Bones sank into his embrace. All the shame, pain, fear, pride and regret he’d carried all these years were dissolved in the pool of love and acceptance that he plunged into in that moment. His tail began to sway on its own accord.

Is this what it feels like to be loved? Bones mused.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, licking the Human’s facial wound. “I’m so very sorry for all I did.”

“I forgive you,” the Human said, tears in his eyes as well. “I forgave you, Pablo.”

They remained there for a while, as they made up for years of distance and estrangement in that hug. Bones was a baby once again, in the arms of the Human.

Garr and Ruff came around to Nada, shocked at the scene before their eyes.

“I don’t believe it.” Garr said in shock.

“Is that our Bones?” Ruff intoned.

“I’ve never seen his tail wag before.”

“Never knew it even had the capacity to do that.”

“Alright, guys,” Nada said with a smirk. “Let him have his moment.”

The Human looked up at them with joy in his eyes. “Can you believe it? Pablo has returned!”

“Pablo?” Ruff asked.

Nada sighed. “It’s a long story.”

Bones turned to them. “Don’t you tell anyone about this or else—“

“Go tell your friends,” the Human said, oblivious to what he had just said. “Bring them over. We’re gonna have a dog party to celebrate. Pablo has come home.”

Bones sighed. He was going to have to get used to this.

He was loving every second of it. He didn’t know what the future held, but all he knew was that the Human – his Human – loved him and forgave him.

And that was enough for Pablo.

THE END

Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
Jesus (Luke 15:10)

Did this bless you? What parts did you like? What’s on your mind? Kindly sound off in the comments.

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PORTAL: An Afterword

Hi there! Emmanuel here!

If you’re here too then I assume you’ve read my story, Portal. Thank you so much. I’d really love to hear your thoughts. If you haven’t already, click on the link right here.

The undercurrent of Portal, is that many of us find ourselves held back by things in our past.

Like Tolu, some of us are encumbered by the fear of the future and its uncertainty.

Like Riley, many of us are affected by the pain and hurts we have experienced in the past.

And, like Frank, many of us are held back by the guilt of the wrongs we’ve done, and by the pain we’ve inflicted on others.

Moving on from these is never easy. I have experienced all three of these, and I have seen how they have influenced my actions, affected how I related with people, and determined the decisions I made. Unknowingly, I was trapped in those points in time and was navigating the present from those places. Influenced by the insecurities of my guilt, protective because of the hurts I experienced, limited by the uncertainties of what lay ahead.

I wish I could say there is a portal of some kind that you can pass through that will makes those things fade away. But then, I have found that there is. This story is a picture of how, through Jesus, we can find the confidence, healing and forgiveness we need to face the future.

For those of us afraid of the future and its uncertainty, He encourages us to trust in Him. Trusting Him means following Him. When we do, He will guide us every step of the way. We may not know where we ought to be five years from now, but at least we know He is with us and we know how He expects us to navigate the times. He is our Light, so we never have to walk in darkness. He has given us His Word so that we can learn of Him and know what He desires. His Word is like a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths (Psalm 119:11).

For those of us held back by the pain of our past, who find ourselves responding to people and circumstances from that hurt, He empathises. He promises healing for the broken hearted (Luke 4:18) and joy in the places of weeping (Psalm 30:5). He will carry you and keep you through it all.

And for those of us who can’t get past the fact that we have hurt someone, inflicted pain on someone, ruined something… Guilt is terrible in that it makes us feel we’ve earned the darkness it brings us into. Guilt is painful, no matter how earned it is. And while, yes, conviction is good, Jesus offers to all that come to Him forgiveness. Forgiven, He gives us the strength to forgive ourselves. And for those who we have hurt, we find the strength to apologise, to mend the friendships we can.

As one who is navigating these zones too, I cannot say I have all the answers. Many of these things, I have to keep reminding myself of every single day; that I have hope in Christ, that He has healed me, and that I am forgiven.

Our stories may differ, but there is the One Portal through which, if we take it, He will lead us in the right ways our souls have always yearned for. It’s called ‘the path of righteousness’ (Psalm 23:3). We will find our solace and peace in Him, and we can enjoy every moment of every day, just as He intended it.

In His Light, we see that He had given Time meaning.

Time in itself is seemingly amoral, giving as much opportunities for decay and corruption as it does for growth and development. The difference is what we do with it. When we are in Christ, He gives us wisdom on how to navigate these times and to make the best of them.

Ephesians 5:17 puts it this way:

Make good use of every opportunity you have, because these are evil days.

Don’t be fools, then, but try to find out what the Lord wants you to do.

I take special comfort in one of David’s Psalms in 31:15 where he says:

My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.

He was confident that, even though he had enemies, he had help because his times were in God’s hands. It reminds me that, it doesn’t matter what season I am in: be it a height or a low, a win or a loss, as long as I am following Jesus, I am in God’s hands.

He will perfect all that concerns me.

From someone who is learning along the way, I pray you find the healing and strength in Jesus to move on. There is so much more to life that He has for you. You’ve got a whole lifetime to discover it.

God bless you all!

PORTAL (6 of 6): Home

It was December 31, the last day of 2019, and Riley Harris was back at the party in Brisbane. The house will flooded with pulsating lights and music blared from the DJs stand.

She blinked, taking in the world around her. She had thought she would die when stepping off that cliff, but here she was.

She was back.

Oh snap! She was back!

She fished out her phone from her pocket. It read 11:52pm.

Shannon tapped her shoulder. “Hey, girl friend!” She had arrived with the shots. “Where’ve you been?”

Riley collected her glass, studying her friend. “Shannon?”

Shannon cocked her head. “Please tell me you haven’t tried the good stuff yet.”

She wasn’t flickering. Riley reached out to touch her arm. She was real! “I’m actually back!!!”

She dropped her glass and embraced Shannon, jumping with glee.

“Shannon, I’m back!!!”

Shannon pulled away, picking her steps among the shattered glass at her feet. “OK, I’m completely freaked out now.”

“Shannon, what time is it?”

“What time is it? Are you OK in the head, Riley?”

Riley didn’t know where to begin. She didn’t know how to begin.

She hurried away, feeling the mass of humanity around her. They were all real.

It wasn’t until she eventually made her way out of the building that she could actually breathe fresh air. There were fireworks in the distance, and music from different buildings all around. Ah, how she had missed the feeling of the breeze on her skin. Back in the Timescape the air was still.

Shannon was not far behind. “Riley, where’re you going?”

“I’m sorry, Shannon. It’s just … all of this is so real.” She raised her hands to feel the breeze.

“OK, I don’t know what Todd put in your drink but you’re high out of your mind, girl. Now you’re going to sit down right now and get a hold of yourself—“

Riley grabbed her hands. “Shannon, Shannon, look at me. I am not high. I just … I feel alive for the first time in a long time.”

Shannon smiled. “I did tell you the party will get you out the dumps, didn’t I?”

Riley knew it wasn’t the party, but she didn’t know how to frame it. “Shannon I’ve needed help for so long.”

“Yeah, we tell you that all the time. You’re sick in the head, but we love ya. This New Year, we’ll make sure there’s no time to think too hard on all the trash that’s bothered you, alright Riley?”

She shrugged. “I, uh … I think I’m just going to sit outside here for a while.”

Shannon frowned. “Why don’t I feel OK about that?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Shan. Look into my eyes. I am fine. I just want some … fresh air.”

Shan actually stepped closer. “There’s a first. Usually you’re the party animal and I’m the sane one.”

“Go have fun, Shan. I’ll be right here.”

“Alright!” Shannon stepped toward the door. “Come in soon, OK?”

She nodded. “Now go!”

Riley sat on the doorstep, staring into the sky. It was so good to see lights again.

But she still had questions. Had all of that really happened? Had she been hallucinating? She knew she hadn’t. She just didn’t know where to go from here.

“God,” she said. “I still don’t know if you really are there. But if You are, they say you can heal me of what has hurt me. I admit, I have carried this pain all this time. I’m really not sure if you are listening. But now I know there is so much more going on than meets the eye. If you really have healing for me, I want that. I want it. If You’ve got something better for me, I really want to know You.”

——

It was December 31, the last day of 2019, and Tolu was back in the car, on the way to church.

The phone was in his hands, and his parents were in front.

I’m home! I’M HOME!

He was so overcome, he didn’t know what to say. He just reached over around his Mum’s seat and hugged her.

Thank you, God. Thank you!

Mum was shocked. “Ah-ah, Toluwanimi? Sho wa okay bayii? (Literally, ‘Are you OK?, but contextually, ‘Are you OK in the head?!’)”

“I’m just happy to see you again, Mum!”

She actually didn’t know how to respond at first. “Aw, my boy. I don’t know how God blessed me with a gift like you.”

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed his father smile.

“I love you too, Dad!”

“Hey, hey, don’t even try and touch me now,” Dad warned as he drove. “Nonsense. I’m still not buying that shoe for you.”

Mum turned to him. “Ah-ah, Honey! Appreciate your son, jo!”

“It’s alright, Dad,” he said. “The shoe is the last thing on my mind right now. I’m just happy to be back … here with you.”

Dad nodded slowly, taking it in. “It’s alright.” He shook his head, wondering what was wrong with his boy.

Tolu sat back in his seat, remembering the last time he had been here. Every second now meant something to him. He just kept staring at his parents as the whispered the rest of their conversation.

He remembered where he’d been, and he remembered what had taken him there. Was the Timescape real?

“Mummy,” he said. “I have a question.”

“What is it, my dear?”

“Is it possible for someone not to enter the New Year?”

She paused a moment to consider that before she hit the chair. “You will make it into the New Year in Jesus Name! Stop using your mouth to say dangerous things like that!”

“No, I mean—“

“Instead of you to be talking with God about your future,” Dad said. “You’re busy thinking about something like that.”

He figured it would be difficult to explain, so he let it lie. “It’s alright.”

“Maybe it’s those cartoons he’s been watching.”

“It haff do,” Mum said. “Oya, start praying in your seat. I must see you praying!”

Tolu smirked at his mother’s training methods, but he knew she meant well. He leaned against the window, praying. As he stared at the world around – living, bright, full of colour and moving people – he wondered what each of them was going through. The fears and concerns and insecurities they may harbour. Just like he had.

He had been quoting prayers he heard a lot when he stopped. It was time to actually have a conversation. “Lord, I don’t know what’s next. But I know You must. I don’t want to stay stuck in the past or in a moment. So I’ll … enter the unknown with You. I will trust You, and I will seek You. Help me find You.”

—–

It was December 31, the last day of 2019, and Frank Aldrin found himself in Times Square, New York.

The sudden change of scenery jolted him for a moment. It was a cold night, with snow all around. Digital billboards on the sides of buildings were lit with motion adverts of upcoming movies and products. Some still had Christmas decorations on.

It worked! Good golly, it worked!

“…so that’s why I took Benny to his cousin’s school, instead.” A lady was walking beside him, talking to him. He wasn’t sure why he recognised her, but he did. It was when he saw her face that he realised who it was.

Her face. Her disfigured left cheek and smaller left eye. The tiny dots where repeated suturing had been done over the years. The girl he had known 37 years ago had grown. He couldn’t believe it.

“Darlene?”

She turned to him. “Hmm?”

He couldn’t believe his eyes. This woman, probably in her mid-thirties, was his own daughter, Darlene!

“You’re … here?”

She seemed confused as to why he would ask that question. “Yeah. I am here, like I told you before. My interview this Friday brought me to New York, that’s why I’m not with them. Brian and Benny understand that I’m here.”

This was his daughter, Darlene, all grown up and now a wife and a mother. Memories of the years since he’d been trapped in the Timescape came filtering in, as though he had been here all along. For some reason, Frank could put faces to those names she mentioned. Brian Pruitt was her husband, who was in Detroit with their son Benny.

“I have a grandson? Benny.”

Darlene looked a bit disappointed. “Gee, Dad, I’m sure he’d love to hear that his Grandpa forgot he exists. It’s not like we send pictures every year.”

They walked on in silence for a while. The crowd was filled with people running back and forth with firecrackers, some huddled together around street performers, some shops still with their Christmas décor still up. And up on a tall building, the ball drop was being prepared for the midnight countdown into the New Year. 2020 was written in sparkly letters at the top.

Darlene sighed. “Dad, I know things haven’t been the best between you and Mum, or you and me, all our lives. But I’m trying here. It took me years to come to terms with the fact that that’s how things would always be, but it never did it for me.”

Frank didn’t know how to respond. He felt like he barely knew her because he actually didn’t know her.

“You know, if I want to be honest Dad, there’s a lot I haven’t said in years that I need to let out. I grew up angry with myself, and angry with … with you, too. My face was a constant reminder that I have a problem. That I would never find love. That this was why our family broke apart, and why I went through life without a Dad. It kept telling me that I did have a father, and he hated me.”

He was shaken. The problem is me, child. Not you. It was me all along.

“But God healed me,” she said. “He heals me. Maybe not my face, but my heart. I’ve still had my periods where I fight with the reality that this face is going with me through my whole life, and I want to get angry. I think of how you never showed up for my graduation, or even my wedding, or every other things that’s important to me. Until I realised that I was trapped. I was letting my pain keep me from moving on to the much more that God has for me.

“But I look at all He’s blessed me with – life, joy, hope, my f… our family – and I see that He’s never left me alone. He’s never left us alone. Dad, I know it doesn’t always have to be this way.” She held his hand. “But I think you need to know that, whatever it is you feel you’ve done, I’ve forgiven you. I want you to know that you don’t have to shut yourself away from us. You don’t have to, Dad. I want my son to have his Grandpa. I know that we can.”

Frank didn’t know he had been crying until he realised he’d shed a tear. “I’m so sorry, Darlene,” he said.

“Me too, Dad.”

“No, I’m sorry for the years we’ve lost. I was so … I needed to get over myself, but I didn’t know how to.”

Darlene nodded, tears in her eyes. “God can help us. We can do this together, Dad. He can help us.”

And she embraced him.

For the first time in 37 years, he felt light. That burden that had been building up for three decades was gone. His daughter was with him. She loved him. They were willing to find a way to make it work.

He didn’t know what would happen, or if they would ever really make it work. He didn’t know what the future held. But what did he have left, except to trust God and see what He could do? If God truly is, and He had a purpose in time, Frank had no option but to wait and see.

Meanwhile, the countdown to the ball drop had already begun.

“5…

“4…

“3…

“2…

“1…”

The End …?

An Afterword.

PORTAL (5 of 6): The Wager

PREVIOUSLY:

Tolu and Riley took the chance of plunging off the cliff, trusting that it would get them into the portal and out of the mad world they had been trapped in.

Frank, the old man, still remains contemplating what has occurred.

Those two kids had been the first people Frank Aldrin had seen here in years. He had initially feared for them, hoping they would not risk the pain of having their hopes dashed, but the boy had sold them his pitch. Watching them take the plunge off the cliff was a twist he had not foreseen.

Frank Aldrin blinked as Justin approached with that annoying smile of his. “Will they make it over there?”

Justin settled beside him. “From this point, there’s really no way for you to tell. Why don’t you take the plunge as well?”

“I already know what’s waiting on the other side. But it’s not for me.”

“How can you even say that? You don’t know that for a fact.”

“What? Platitudes and promises of a better tomorrow are for mindless weaklings, victims of a ruthless world. It’s all meaningless. There is no hope. And you should be ashamed of yourself for even insinuating otherwise.”

Justin fiddled with his fingers on the bench. “Do you ever wonder why I rhyme all the time?”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re not bothered? You’ve never wondered?”

Frank stared him down. “My guess is you’re going to tell me, anyway.”

“It’s because there is an order to my existence. I’m not left up to chance. God made me for His purposes. Time goes according to His plans.”

Frank wagged his head. “Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. So if there is purpose, why is there pain and suffering in the world? Why are men prone to so much evil? Why do good people, great people, die in the worst ways while criminals get rich? Why do millions die in tsunamis, when ‘He’s got the whole world in His hands?’ To think that there should be some purpose to all of this is to shut my eyes to the reality.”

“No, Frank. It’s a broken world, we know this. But God doesn’t leave you in the abyss. He adds His light into your stories. Your existence is anything but ordinary. Even when it doesn’t make sense, He asks that you trust Him. He’s promised to work something glorious out, and He’ll start in you, from within.”

Frank shrugged. “I don’t need this.”

“You know, I had hoped that seeing those two find their exit would help you see, even just a little bit.”

“And what exactly would it help me see?”

“That there is help! That there is grace. That there is a way to move on from this place.”

Frank chuckled. “I’m not like them. They’re not like me.”

“Why do you think so? It’s been 37 years, Frank. I really want to know.”

Frank looked on at the cottage across from him. “I deserve to be here. I choose to be here.” He folded his arms to end the conversation. “I want to be here.”

“For your pain—“

“Stop it, kid! I’m not a gullible victim looking for healing.” Something in his peripheral vision caught his attention. It was from the cottage.

Justin followed his gaze.

“I’m not the victim here,” Frank said. “I’m the monster in this story.”

For the first time in a long time, a window of the cottage lit up. As they watched they saw a man through the window. It was Frank, a much younger version of himself. He still had a head full of hair, and his clothes fit him too.

“What … is … happening?”

Justin looked up at him. “It means that you must be remembering.”

“Whatever it is you’re trying to do, stop. This is in vain.”

“I’m sorry, but somehow you’re the one thinking about it again.”

“I think about it all the time,” Frank snarled. “It’s why I stay here watching this cottage. What, you think being face-to-face with this moment will change my opinion? Like those kids did before?”

Justin squinted. “I think you’re seeing something more.”

As they watched, the Frank in the house was in an argument with someone. It was his daughter, Darlene. Watching it now he could not remember what she had done, but whatever it was, he had been angry.

He covered his mouth. Was it worth his anger?

“Take this away,” he whispered.

He watched as the man grabbed the bottle from the table. It had been in a fit of rage, a momentary burst of anger. It was not supposed to have happened.

He shut his eyes, but the scenes played on in his mind as clear as day. He stumbled off the bench, scampering away, but he could not escape it. He could not escape the memory.

He watched as he smashed the bottle in his daughter’s face. The glass shattered in slow motion, every detail imprinted on his mind in high definition.

It was not supposed to happen. Maybe if the bottle had not been there…

But he knew it was not the bottle’s fault. It was his. It was him that had damaged Darlene’s face for life. It was him that had doomed her to months of suturing and plastic surgery.

It was the last straw that had broken his marriage.

It was the brick that brought his family toppling down.

And it had been his doing.

Frank fought to keep all of this from getting to him, but he felt the emotions washing over him as raw as they’d ever been. He tightened his grip on the back of the bench.

“Don’t you see, Frank?” Justin said.

“Stop it…”

“This was 37 years ago. You haven’t moved on from this moment. You’re hurting more than you know—“

“I’m not the one that’s hurting. She’s the one that’s hurting. Darlene? My marriage? My life? They’re the ones that are hurting because of what I did.”

“So it’s Guilt,” Justin summed it up. “It’s driven a sword into your soul, to the very hilt.”

“And it’s well deserved.” He was heaving now. “I did this to my daughter. Whatever I am going through, I earned it.”

“Guilt has held you down. It just masks the pain inside. It doesn’t matter how you try to cover, there’s no way you can hide it.”

Frank shook his head, still staring at the cottage and the crying girl within. “I’m the scum of the earth, Justin. How could I do that to someone? And how can you even imply that this can be wiped away?”

Justin didn’t respond as Frank let of steam. He held his head in his hands and cried. It was too much. He didn’t know this reservoir had been stuck in there, but it was too much.

Perhaps Justin was right. Watching those kids believe they could trust something, or Someone, and how it took them away from this place got to him. It brought back that hope, but also a feeling of unworthiness. His guilt stared him in the face.

He dropped to his knees. “GOOOOOOD!!!!”

He wasn’t calling on God. He didn’t mean to. He didn’t want to. He was just letting out the exhaustion built up in his chest. But that was what his heart cried. God.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this,” he said. “I don’t know what to say. But, God … I can’t do this anymore. Just … help me.”

Perhaps it was too much to hope for. He didn’t even really believe those words, did he? He didn’t know why he said it. It came up from within him. Why did he expect something more to—

But suddenly, the ground underneath him cracked. He was startled. When he turned to Justin, the boy was smiling.

“It’s like I said, the hardest knocks are with your knees. The portal has been everywhere all this time. Just beneath what your eye sees.”

“What’s going on?”

“You called,” Justin said. “He answered. Your sojourn may be at its end.”

Light shot out of the ground underneath him. Enveloping him. Frank was scared.

“Justin!”

“Goodbye, old friend.”

And he was gone.

>> THE JOURNEY COMES TO AN END HERE.