
With one final gasp of the acrid air, Martin hurried into the burning building to the screams of the onlookers below. The window gave in to his weight as he stumbled into the smoldering room. In the smoky interior he winced as his eyes watered, his nostrils stinging, heat searing his skin. It was hell.
āHelp!ā The scream came from downstairs. āSomebody! Please! I donāt want to die!ā There was more, but it was swallowed up by the roar of the fire and the crackling of burnt wood.
Abigail!
The staircase was gone. Getting down there would be close to impossible. The fire was everywhere, and that breath that still lingered in his lungs would soon give out. Never before had he missed fresh air so.
But Abigail could not die. Not now. Not ever.
Dear God ⦠what do I do now? His shirt stuck to his back, his face matted with sweat. He coughed, desperate for more air. With nothing to hold, he sank to his knees.
āAbigail!ā he called. āWhere are you?ā
āIām here!ā The faint cry reached him. Now that he thought about, maybe she really wasnāt downstairs. What ifā¦?
He bounded towards the toilet, stopping short at the door. It had the profile of a girl on it.
Really, Marvin? Still wondering if itās OK to enter a girlās bathroom at a time like this?
He pushed the door in and it shriveled into bits under the heat. There, in the ceramic-walled āand hotā bathroom, curled in a corner, was the most beautiful person he knew. Wide-eyed. Scared.
Abigail. Even with soot on her face, she still looked amazing.
Marvin thrust his hand out. āCome with me if you want to live!ā
She just stared at him for a moment, heaving in shock. āSeriously? Like, are you ⦠a firefighter?ā
āWhat ⦠me? No, Iām ⦠Marvin. Marvin Bishop. Weāre in the same class. Same schoolāā
āI donāt know you.ā She looked genuinely wary.
āLook, thatās the thing. I figured you wouldnāt remember me. So I came here, to rescue you so you can know me ⦠and I can finally show you how I ⦠how I feel about yāā
āLook, Iām sorry, Iād really love to hear what youāve got to say, but itād probably be more interesting if there wasnāt a BURNING ROOM BEHIND YOU! Weāre gonna DIE!ā
Marvin squinted. āTh-thatās what I said. I came to rescue you and get you out of that window over there, risking life and limb, ācause I lovāā
āThrough that fire? Howāll we get there? Iāll get burnt!ā
āY-you donāt have to. See, Iāll carry you. Iāll protect youāā
āThis all just sounds like a really bad script.ā
Marvin was stunned. āDo you want to get rescued or not?ā
He never got to hear her answer because a burning log dropped from the ceiling and knocked him out.
At least thatās what his friend, Bobās knock on his head felt like as he woke up from his latest daydream.
āWhat?ā he yelled at Bob, back in their classroom. āWhat was that for?ā
āYou daydreaming about rescuing Abigail from a burning building again?ā Bob asked, a smirk on his face.
āNo!ā Marvin turned to stare at her across the classroom. As usual, Abigail was laughing with her friends, oblivious to his very presence. He sighed. āYeah.ā
āDude ⦠thatās just āā
āDonāt say āromanticā,ā Marvin interrupted. āThe word makes me sick.ā
āI was going to say ādisturbingā.ā Marvin shot him a double-take. āSeriously? Itās sick! You want to set a building on fire and put some girl in it just so you can tell her that you ⦠like her?ā
āI wouldnāt set a building on fire. Thatās crazy.ā
āWhat, you think burning buildings grow on trees?ā
Marvin waved him off. āLetās just forget about this, OK? And I never said I was thinking about that. You did.ā He picked a book to start reading. āAnd I wouldnāt put her in a burning building. Iād rescue her from one. Thatās the point.ā
āI thought you wanted to forget about this.ā
āRight, right, yeah ⦠letās ⦠forget about it.ā He returned to pretending to read. āNever happened.ā
———-
PRIVATE KEN YOUNG stared at the landscape around as their Humvee bounded across the Northern Afghanistan landscape. The howling winds around them kept reminding him that winter was approaching. It wouldnāt be too soon for his platoon. There was little to look forward to here.
Vasquez nudged him in the side and showed him a picture. āThatās my liāl Whitney.ā The joy in his voice only barely masked the choke behind it. āSheās already crawlinā. Should be walkinā by Christmas, I reckon.ā
Ken smiled. It was probably the twentieth time that Vasquez had shown him the picture of his newborn baby girl, a daughter he had not seen since his tour in Afghanistan had begun. Ken could only imagine the pain the man was going through in their separation, so he allowed him his bragging rights.
āItās awesome, man,ā Ken said.
āShould be ropinā cattle by the time I get back. Just like her Pa.ā
Ken smirked. Yeah, right. āYou sending her anything for Christmas?ā
The man nodded. āMaking an Afghan with her name on it.ā
Ken nodded. Itād been six months since heād left the States. He was already missing home, his friends, the life he had been used to. He wondered if heād ever stop missing it all. Or if heād ever get back at all.
āYou know,ā Vasquez added. āShe probably doesnāt know me. Has never set eyes on me. Sally put to bed just days after I reported in.ā He smiled despite himself. āGonna take a while for her to accept me as her dad.ā
āYouāre gonna be a great father, Vasquez.ā
He arched a brow. āI think I already am a father.ā
āI meant ⦠you know what I mean.ā
āYeah, just foolinā with you, kid.ā
Vasquez chuckled, and then he sobered after a while. He tapped the photograph. āThis here ⦠itās what makes it all make sense.ā Ken was going to ask, but he knew it was best to listen when this guy needed an ear. āWhen this crapfest gets in my head and I wonder why Iām here, why 9/11 brought us to Afghanistan of all places ⦠I think of her. Whitney, Sally ⦠everyone I care about. They deserve to live without fear. And these Arabs do too. And if my toting a peashooter around till kingdom come is going to make that happen ⦠then I sure as heck will tote my peashooter the best I can.ā
Ken smiled weakly with a shrug. Heād never seen a purpose to this. Heād always wished he did. Perhaps itād make it all make sense. Maybe if he was here for someone ⦠somehow itād all make more sense. āKeeps everything in focus.ā
āThanks for the rousing speech, Vasquez,ā Kirk said from the opposite row. āShould get you an Oscar.ā
āOscars are for movies, doofus,ā Vasquez said.
āYeah, whatever, man.ā Kirk said. āBut youāre wrong. Weāre not here because of some honourable piece ofāā
āEasy there,ā another private said.
āNo, heās gotta hear this. Weāre gonna die out here ācause weāre messing with something that wants to be left alone.ā
āWeāre trying to help themāā
āWhat if they donāt wanna be helped? Al Qaeda is just the beginning, man. Itās not going to end anytime soon. You just wait and see. Soon the body bags would be lined up on the ground, and BOOM! Itās all over. Hastalavista, baby.ā
āWell, arenāt you full of goodwill today,ā Ken said.
āWait,ā Vasquez cocked his head. āWhat do you know?ā
Kirk stared at him for a moment, then shrugged and spread out his hands in front of him the way he did anytime he wanted to share something. ā āKay, thereās this guy that supplies the base with merch and stuff. Ali? Weāve been talking lately. Told me thereās this group of crazies, a deviant sect, developing within Al Qaeda, destined to take over if Bin Laden dies.ā
āHow does he know that?ā
āRumors travel fast out here.ā
āBin Laden dead? Yeah, like thatāll ever happen,ā another officer added.
āLetās just say it will. These guys are more brutal, and theyāve got it in their thick skulls that they can model the world after their own brutal image. Theyāve already got a name. Itās weird, I know, but I hear they call themselves āISISā. ā
āISIS?ā
He never got a response to that because, in a second, it was all over. The Humvee hit a mine, and the resulting explosion reverberated for miles. No one survived. Not Ken, not Vasquez, not Kirk ā no one.
It was another statistic in the casualties of war on the news that year.
———-
Iām sorry that story ended quite abruptly. I hope itās not too dark for you. If it is, then this part is for you; a light little intermission before the final story, where I explain what all this is about.
The thing is we know weāre not going to be on this planet forever. We know that the only way weāre leaving is either by dying, or in the Rapture, or perhaps on a trip on a rocket from NASA (OK, that one would be temporary, but stillā¦). Death has been a sure part of the human cycle since Eden. Itās like a game that resets over and over again, with new players at each reset: Live, Die, Resetā¦Live, Die, Resetā¦Live, Die, Resetā¦
Over and over again.
But we donāt want to just ⦠die. We know weāre leaving here soon, yes. But if weāre leaving at all, some of us want to leave with a bang! To make a real difference. And it seems the only way to leave with a bang is to die for a cause. For someone or something.
When people die for reasons beyond themselves, they are remembered as heroes. It doesnāt matter how much their lives may have sucked. As long as they had a selfless heroic death, they are hailed for generations.
In stories, sometimes a man may risk his life to rescue the typical ādamsel-in-distressā. In some tragic stories, this heroic character dies (and I wonder why such stories ever bothered being written, except in some cases where it contributes the story or its central theme). We leave that story remembering them this way.
But what about the girl, the damsel thatās left to go through life tormented by traumatic images of the man that loved her and that died instead of her? The therapeutic sessions sheād have to go through? The resistance sheād have to other men because of her perceived devotion to the dead guy?
OK, I almost digressed there. But, at least Shakespeare had the decency to not allow even Romeo and Juliet to end that wayā¦
Soldiers risk their lives for a cause they believe in. A country, a home, an ideal ⦠or, admittedly, the paycheck theyād get (though I doubt that last one is a factor for most). They are trained for the worst, to be the ones to bridge the gap where others never could, to do whatās necessary to secure the country to which they are loyal. And many die in this effort; some forgotten by all except their families and those that loved them.
When I think about these scenarios, I wonder if Iād ever do that. Would I willingly give my life ā as in, die ā for a person, or a cause? Is it worth it? Sure, thereād be lots of honour and stuff, but Iād never get to enjoy it. My family would miss me. Sure, weāll meet again in the future, but then theyāll have to endure unnecessary hurt.
Is it worth it?
But, in a sense, it seems exciting. Not to just die and go back into the earth, but to actually die for a reason. It comes with this surge of adrenaline, dying for something bigger and something better.
What would I die for?
I hope Iāve jolted some questions in your mind. What would you die for?
Would you die for anything?
Hereās the last story ⦠and then ⦠Iāll be back (hey, anyone else notice the Terminator references so far?).
———-
Winterās cold winds washed against the manās coat as he trudged through the snow that night, a sack lugged over his shoulder. His breath came out in heaves, trailed by short steamy wafts.
Katyaās old bike still stood in the lawn, draped in snow and ice. He decided to carry it in later. It would be good to finally meet his family after so long.
He sneaked a peek behind him. The neighbourhood was quiet. He turned and knocked. He could have tried the secret knock, but he wanted this to be a surprise. Who knew what they could expect in times like these?
After a tad suspicious thirty seconds, he heard a strong female voice call out. āWhoās out there?ā
He could not hold it back any longer. āIām home, my darling.ā
It took a moment, and then she hurriedly unbolted the door. She was in a scarf and her characteristic brown blouse, a hand on her chest. The shock and beauty in her face warmed him to his heart as he dropped the bag and held out his arms for an embrace.
āYou ⦠didnāt use the secret knock,ā she struggled to mutter.
āI wanted this to be a surprise. Iām sorryāā
āPyotrā¦ā She hurried into his embrace. āYouāre back!ā
āI love you, Corrie,ā he whispered. What was that? He should be hurrying inside in this cold. But that was the only thing left to say in his melted heart after the sight of his beloved. āThe Lord has kept me. Iām home.ā They kissed.
Man, Iāve missed home!
She pulled back and held his face in her hands. āYouāre homeā¦ā Her eyes were moist, her smile curving into those beautiful cheeks. āOh, thank the Lord. Quick, come in, come in! Itās cold out here!ā
Pyotr picked the bag. āReally? Cold? Somebody shouldāve told me.ā
āAnd donāt think Iām kissing you again until you brush those teeth.ā
āIāve missed you too, Corrieā¦ā
āPyotr?ā It was Ivan, his brother, peeking from a doorway. āItās you! Youāre back! Thank the Lord!ā
It was his brother. Faithful Ivan. Pyotr smiled and came over to embrace him, as Corrie hurried in to tell the others.
āYou didnāt use the secret knock,ā Ivan whispered.
āI know, Iām sorry, but you were all faster this time. I could have been the police. Canāt be too careful, these days.ā
āHowād you get past the border?ā
āNot now, brother. I just want to have a nice dinner with my family.ā
āWeāre being followed more and more these days. We have to be careful.ā
Pyotr placed the bag by the doorpost and stretched in the warmth.
āIs that it?ā Ivan gestured towards the bag.
Pyotr nodded. The stash of Bibles and Christian literature was the result of the contributions of believers in the West, so that Pyotrās people could have the words of God to live by. In the radical Communist stronghold on their region, uninstitutionalized religious activity was rapidly becoming more illegal in definition. Believers were sequestered to hidden secret gatherings when possible. Without these books, much doctrine was subject to the whim of those that taught it. But it was Pyotrās dream and the dream of thousands more, to get these into the hands of those that needed it the most.
Ivan palmed through the sack, poring through one book.
āPapa!ā Katya bounded out of the dining room and into her fatherās arms.
āMy, how youāve grown!ā Pyotr exclaimed.
She giggled. āI missed you, Papa!ā
āI missed you too, my angel. Let me look at you. My, youāre beautiful as ever.ā
āYou didnāt use the secret knock, Papa. We were all scared getting everything out of the wayāā
āI know, I know. And Iāve been rightly chewed out for that. Iām sorry.ā He stole a glance at Ivan as he ruffled her hair. āDear God, Iāve missed you.ā
āPapa, why are you ⦠smelly?ā
He tried to stifle a laugh. āPapaās been on the road for days, dear.ā He leaned in and whispered. āI havenāt had a bath ināā
She pulled away and covered her nose, laughing. Pyotr chased her around, laughing. It was good to be home, with the people he cared about. āIāll take that bath, donāt worry.ā
āDid you bring a present for me?ā
āNow, Katya,ā Corrie was back. āLet your father have his space. He needs to meet everyone.ā
āI actually brought one especially for you, Kat,ā he said as he followed them in, Katya on his arm. It was a colouring book of Bible stories. āIāll give you in a moment. You just wait.ā
āBrother Pyotr!ā One, and then another, called from the dining room. It was like heaven to him. There was Old Mark, Vlad the baker from Leningrad, the Stefanovichs together, the Groznyys ⦠and many others he did not know, all families united by one faith in one God through Christ.
All he had been through on his trip suddenly felt worthwhile.
It is worthwhile, Pyotr.
After greetings all round, they then settled to pray, thanking God for Pyotrās safe delivery through the tight security at the borders, for the sake of the Gospel. Never before had he felt so close to heaven.
It couldnāt get any better than thisā¦
As footsteps bounded down the stairs, Pyotr realized that all was not well. They were faster and more resolute as they approached. He opened his eyes and his gaze fell on Katya, her eyes still shut. Corrie was staring at him, worry etched on her features. She knew.
āRun,ā he mouthed.
But it was too late. Patric, their lookout stationed in the attic, stumbled in. āTheyāre coming!ā
The next moment, just one moment, that passed among them all dragged for a few seconds. In that time, the enormity of the situation dawned on them all. Pyotrās eyes were still on Corrieās. Lord, save us. He realized that he should have been suspicious when he noticed the deserted streets. Who knew how long they had been watched? But now⦠dear God ā¦
And then the scurry began as everyone tried to hurry to the basement. This was no drill. But that was when the front door burst open with the police officer at the door preceded by an icy cold wintry draft.
āHold it right there!ā the officer yelled. āIf anyone moves we will fire!ā
To shrieks and screams, more policemen bounded in, weapons trained on them. Pyotr tried to take a headcount. Everyone was still here … right?
The captain walked in, and the other officers surrounded them. Pyotr recognized him from border patrol. Had they followed him since then? Their eyes met. The captain snarled.
āGet him!ā
Pyotr stood tall. āThis is my house. Whatās going on here?ā
Two officers grabbed him by the arms, to Corrieās screams. When the Captain raised his hand to slap her Pyotr edged closer but was summarily stomped to the ground by a boot. Corrie covered her mouth, tears trickling down her face.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of deathā¦
The captain walked around Pyotr, staring him down. He finally stooped and placed his baton under his chin, nudging his face up. āThe sack. Where is it?ā
Pyotr would not reply. I will fear no evil ⦠for You are with meā¦
After a moment, the Captain struck him with the baton, cracking his jaw. āSearch the house!ā
The officers smashed all the windows, flipping furniture over, all in an effort to trash the place. Books toppled to the floor, leaving the room a cluttered mess.
āI know you carried a sack in. If thereās anything incriminating in there, I swear you all āall of you, including that little girl ā will never see the light of day ever again.ā
Pyotr stared up at his daughter. She looked scared. It had all happened so fast. No child should have had to see this. Itās going to be OK, my dear.
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort meā¦
He sneaked a peak at the doorpost where the bag was supposed to have been. It was gone.
The captain followed his gaze and headed for that area.
āHere,ā an officer said, holding up the sack. āFound it.ā
The only problem was that the sack was empty. How didā? Pyotr turned and his eyes fell on Ivanās knowing gaze. He had emptied the bag before the soldiers came in. Good one, brother. But where had he taken the Bibles? Had someone escaped with them? Who wasnāt here? That Patric kid, where was he? Had he taken them?
The captain squeezed the sack in his hands, fuming.
You have prepared a table before me, in the presence of my enemies.
The officers flung the dishes of food against the wall, breaking the table in two.
You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflowsā¦
The captain was visibly furious. He wanted to break something ⦠or someone. And Pyotr was unfortunate to be the subject of his anger.
Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my lifeā¦
āI know youāre all spreading sectarian doctrine, poisoning the minds of our good citizens. Youāre a cancer, I swear! Iām of a mind to arrest you right now. But let this be a statement.ā He pointed at them all, staring at Pyotr. Then, with pent-up rage released, he kicked his head in, smashing his cranium in.
Katya, Iām sorry you had to see thisā¦
The captain waited a couple of seconds more, and then pulled out a pistol. Carrie was barely containing herself now, weeping with all she had.
He trained the gun on Pyotrās head. Adrenaline washed over his body. āTell me, Pyotr Konor, are you a follower of the Christian doctrine or are you a citizen in good standing with the community? If you are a good citizen ⦠then renounce this Jesus. Right now.ā
They all stared. This was it. The moment of truth.
Pyotrās eyes could not leave Katyaās. She was scared, her gaze panicky. Whatās going on, Papa? She would probably have wanted to ask. Why is this happening to us?
He knew that his choice right then, what she saw, would have its effect on her. Probably for the rest of her life. Lord, keep herā¦
And Corrie⦠Dear God, Corrie⦠How could I have been so blessed to meet a woman like you?
I love you. I really do.
I know you understand.
āYouāre trying my patience.ā The captain said, his anger grating through his words.
ā¦and I will dwell in the house of the Lord ⦠forever.
The Bibles were out of reach of these men, and that was a good thing. Many would get their hands on those books, and the church would grow. If for that reason alone, Pyotr hoped it was all worth it.
And with that, he leaned forward, eyes shut, and placed his forehead on the nozzle of the pistol.
Amen.
Ā
———-
I grew up reading and listening to stories like that last one. I always wondered what Iād do if I was asked to renounce Jesus or die. Would I give in?
Iād like to say that Iād never give in. Iāve always believed that I would never give in. But, until that day comes, if it comes, I guess I may never know the answer to that.
Or do I?
Weāve come a long way from just āleaving with a bangā now, huh?
Some famous guy once said that something to die for is definitely something worth living for. (You probably need to read that again and think about it. And, while weāre on the subject, I donāt remember the famous guy that said it first. But he said it, and I said it now, so I guess that makes it TWO great guys that have said it now ⦠OK, I was kidding there. But, seriously, you probably need to read that sentence again. Have you?)
So I could go with a bang for something, yes, but would I live for it? If it is worth dying for, then it is probably worth living for too, right?
But living for something is much harder than dying for it, in my opinion. Donāt think so?
Think about this: If I died for something, everyone would know when it happened. I would not need to do anything more, because my statement has been made in my death. Itās done once, and thatās it.
But if I were to LIVE for such a thing, now, no one may know at first. It would show in my lifestyle. I may not get the rewards or any public acclamation immediately ⦠or ever. I would give my every word, my every waking moment, thinking about what more I could for the person or the cause for which Iām alive.
I would lose my identity for that thing. Itās like a living death in itself.
And I would ask myself, āIs it worth it?ā
Thatās what love is. You love your wife or husband, so you live for them for the rest of your life.
Itās what being a parent is like. You love your children, so you stick with them and raise them. Youāre not bothered if they do not appreciate you or not, or if theyāre naughty or not. You hang in there, diligent make them better because you love them. Even when itās not convenient, you hang in there.
Itās what life in the military is. You lose your right to a unique identity for the discipline and uniformity needed to operate as a unit, for a common goal.
Itās what living for Christ is like.
Love is the defining factor in all these examples. Paul knew what he was saying when he wrote that āā¦if I have not love, I am nothing.ā (1 Corinthians 13:2) We could offer our bodies to be burnt instead of someone else that deserves it, or give all we have away, or win all awards we can, but if itās not done in love, then all weāve been doing is making noise. Anything outside this is not life.
We may not all have to decide who weāll die for at gunpoint, but we can choose who we live for. We may not all have to ādieā because we serve God, but weāre all called to live for Him.
In Romans 12:1, weāre encouraged to āā¦offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy (separated) and acceptable unto God, which is our reasonable service.ā Itās the only reasonable way to live. Every waking moment: our eating, sleeping, breathing, surfing the Net, watching movies, gisting ⦠give it to Him. Let Him define them for you.
Like I like to say, itās sacrifice, but thatās the only way weāll ever find true freedom.
And itās awesome! The good thing is that, He doesnāt leave us to figure out how to please Him. When we believe in Him, He lives through us, working through us to make us want to do what pleases Him, and to actually do what pleases Him. We can decide to get with the programme and allow Him to use us and make us all He wants us to be, ācause thatās the best we can ever be ⦠and itās a bazillion times better than the best we think we could ever be!
Soon, youāll realize that thereās no better way to live; that thereās no other way to live.
Than to live for Him.
The point has never been who you die for.
It’s who or what you live for.